What if Scott was in the finale and he was like, "Sike! I'm not blind at all! Suckers!!" And then grabs the keys to the Ford Jetta or whatever car the finalists are given this year, cackles like a Joker, and then runs off, never to be seen from again? That'd be awesome.
THIS is American Idol.
Ryan is wearing a suit and slightly loosened black tie. That is so hot. He lies, in this beautiful tie, that the judges will be providing us insight tonight. Oh Ryan, you do have such a wonderful sense of humor. Since lies are in the air tonight, Paula says this is like the best group of 12 ever.
We get a montage of everything from the auditions until now - including Nathaniel having been through a lot, Scott being born blind, Ju’Not’s baby, people screaming, more people screaming, Jorge being Latino, Scott wanting to be an inspiration, and people crying - all set to the tune of ‘A Daily Anthem‘. I hope this is the goodbye song this year. Not because it’s relevant, just cause I love it.
The group song tonight is ‘Hot and Cold’. The girls suck and Kristen looks drunk. The guys all sit down as they sing, I think for the benefit of Scott. Nobody wants to see him fall off the stage. The girls walk down the stairs, but no matter how hard I pray, none of them fall. Alex looks lost. It doesn’t sound bad, but if you have vision, like I do, it’s ugly to watch. I love Scott, really, but it’s go to be soooo awkward to be him. I can’t stand being surrounded by a bunch of people on or off stage, but if I was and couldn’t even see them? I’d freak out.
Remember when we were all Von needed to get by? Remember when Ju’not made ‘Delilah’ an even more painful, drawn out death for me then it was when the original group sang it? When Felicia kind of looked like Kimberly Caldwell, but sang good and didn‘t make me want to scrub my face with bleach? Remember when Alex was awesome and awful wrapped into one tortilla shell? Remember how I decided, at this very moment right now, that I never want to see Kristen’s face again? Remember when Kara wanted to go shopping with Taylor for shirts for Simon or something? Remember when this was for the girls and then Nathaniel wanted to do anything for love? And Jorge was from Puerto Rico and I wanted to marry Scott?
Note to self: Download ‘Mandolin Rain’
Nathaniel says he wouldn’t have changed anything about his performance last night, but he’s not wearing his headband now as Ryan points out. Jorge is still from Puerto Rico. Ju’not had an asthma attack during rehearsal or something. And then something about Felicia and something.
Ryan tells Lill Rounds to stand up and everyone screams. Why do I feel a yawn coming on? I think it’s because she’s in the top 12. I’m so bored already. She acts like Fantasia in her excitement and it’s just annoying. You know she’ll be hear, just skating by, until the top 4. Then next season at this time, I won’t even be able to remember her name, like I can’t remember that whats-her-name who was third last season. Her hair is kind of cool, but she’s wearing a checkered table cloth as a skirt. She sings her song from last night, which I don’t even recognize as a song I’ve ever heard anybody sing ever.
I was looking at the ratings for this show and it says “Rated L for Infrequent Coarse Language and D for Some Suggestive Dialogue.” HA!
He has Arianna, Alex, Taylor, Kendall, and Scott please stand up, please stand up. Arianna is not in the top 12, which is good because I can’t even remember what she sang last night. Neither is Taylor, which is fine because we already have a Taylor. I want to swap hoodie’s with Alex, but he’s out, so I can never live out that dream. The Kendall and The Scott stand alone, as if Kendall would be in over Scott. Scott is in and him and Alex awkwardly hug.
Note to my readers: Please call me Mrs. Scott Macintyre from now on. And that’s not the first time I’ve had that last name. The last time it was spelled Mcintyre. Ya’ll know who I’m talking about.
I just added Mandolin Rain to my Myspace music player. Like it or lump it.
Ryan’s got bedroom eyes tonight.
Ew, he calls Kristen to the stage with Nathaniel. I want him to stab her with one of his nose rings. He could take her, she looks so stoned. It’s a no for Natheniel right now and a never again for Kristen. Von and Felicia - or as I like to call her, “That Kimberly Caldwell chick” cause she reminds me of her in the oddest of ways. It’s a no for both of them. Jorge and Ju’not are called down to the stage. If I wasn’t so lazy, I’d turn the TV off and leave the room right now, because this is nonsense.
A good laugh is had by all when Ryan makes them think they have to wait until after the break but then they don’t. Jorge has 7 different kind of break downs when Ryan announces him in and Simon looks just as displeased as I feel. Well, I’m not really displeased. Nothing personal against Jorge, but there’s others I liked better.
I hate this top 12.
Ryan reintroduces us to the top 9 already and I only care about Adam, Scott, Kris, Kelly Montana, and Scott’s blind seeing eye guy.
Even my computer can’t stand DannyGokey cause it crapped out just as I was typing the last part. By the time it turned back on, Von was in and Kara was telling Jasmine and her giant forehead that she needs to “kill us” with song choice. Paula chooses Ricky Braddy! I love you Paula!! I want to now be known as Mrs. Ricky Braddy. Simon chooses that crazy Megan with her crazy, creepy arm tattoo.
Randy’s next pick is Tatiana… um, okay, Randy needs to be fired. First he picks Caldwell, then he comes back and does this. You are DEAD to me, Randy Jackson! DEAD! This is so effin’ STUPID. It’s not funny anymore. The tragedy of Tatiana was only funny for like the first 15 seconds and then it got stupid and annoying.
I hope Scott “accidentally” bumps into her and knocks her ass down the steps. Kara picks Matt G. Paula picks Jesse. Who are these people they’re picking? I don’t know these people!! They aren’t even picking actual people!!
Simon picks… Anoop…
I’m not watching this show. They just passed up several good - or at least, entertaining - people to pick a handful of …. People I forget even existed until now. And even now that the camera is off of them, I’ve forgotten them.
I’m not watching this show anymore. What else is on Tuesdays and Wednesdays at 7?
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