What I hate about Hollywood week(s) is that most of the people they focus on aren't going to make it into the top 12 anyway. Every once in awhile, someone obnoxious gets close but chances are slim to none that they'll get in. So we’re wasting time that could be spent doing better things, like washing our hair or petting our dogs. People like Scott Macintye, Adam Lambert, Danny Gokey. People like David Cook, Clay Aiken, Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood. People like them don't have to draw attention to themselves with their antics and asshatery because their VOICES DO IT FOR THEM. Also, nobody wants somebody desperate and needy. Would you date a guy or a girl who was seriously desperate or needy? No you would not. Why? Because that shit gets old fast. The music business does not want to date some whiny, annoying doucheface either. People who don’t care about anybody else, who can’t even get into a group of 3 or 4 people and sing one damn short song without turning it into a soap opera , don’t deserve to breathing room on this planet, let alone a career in the music business.
Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest… THIS is American Idol. And I guess sometimes, drama can be fun. But thankfully this is the last night of it.
Also, I had this conversation yesterday.
Roarimaraptor: myspace is being an ass so i can't blog about being stood up!
JuleahFaye: MYSPACE is COMPOUNDING the problem by standing you up as WELL!
JuleahFaye: idol better not be superceded by the president or something
JuleahFaye: thats' three. things come in threes.
JuleahFaye: it could be interrupted by a special whistlestop tour of obama trying to drum up votes for the bailout.
JuleahFaye: and seacrest would be talking in the background but we'd never know.
JuleahFaye: we'd never even KNOW.
JuleahFaye: maybe, with your streak, it would happen tonight. and the whistlestop tour would only replace a new episode of house. and seacrest reporting of chris brown's delinquency on E! News. And that'd be okay. Because House is online. And E! News repeats itself all week under the disguise of 'new episodes.'
Roarimaraptor: it's just the same thing with seacrest in different outfits
JuleahFaye: yeah hello??? that's the whole concept of paper dolls. and those suckers sold. in like the 40s
Ryan’s looking sexy tonight.
Adam Lambert draws number 1. He’s singing “Do You Believe In Love” by Cher, which is AWESOME. Up next is Matt Giraud on keyboard singing ‘Georgia’. I believe I want to marry him. This I strongly believe.
Jamar is singing ‘Hey There Delilah’ and I hate it. The song, not him. Seriously, I loved that song for like 30 seconds until I had heard it 500 times.
Next is Danny Gokey singing ‘I Hope You Dance’. I want to marry him too, but only after we find out that this wife dying thing isn’t a curse that passes on from wife to wife. Cause wouldn’t that be horrible? More horrible for him, of course, but horrible for me too. And who would recap this, I ask you? WHO?!!
I don’t like this Anoop very well.
I just noticed… there’s a live band on stage. That is so weird.
Another guy I don’t like very well.
Scott is behind his piano singing ’Home’. I want to marry him. Seriously, like tonight. I’d get on a plane and go to LA if he said he’d marry me. Even though I suspect he might be gay. But he’s blind. I can lie and say I’m a dude.
Kendall sucks singing that Carrie Underwood song in which she vandalizes some dude’s car cause he cheated on her.
Stevie Wright is cool.
Lil Rounds is still loud and annoying. I’m so sick of Alicia Key songs.
Kristin is the girl who got cursed out by some black chick during group day, which makes me love her. Ryan tricks her into thinking that mean girl is behind her, so she punches Ryan in the arm. I say this every season, but I bet he bruises like a peach.
Tatiana’s up next. I hope Simon brought a gun. And I hope he’s been going to target practice. Or I hope she falls off stage. Then Simon doesn’t have to go to jail. She’s cute and she has a good voice, but she ruins it by being an idiot all the time. And she’s wearing a shower curtain as a dress. I cannot respect that.
A few more people not really worth mentioning.
Since Nathaniel plays guitar… I kind of like him. But I can do without his drama. I hate angst teenagers. Get over it. You’re not the only one in the world. But that is neither here nor there, as we don’t get to see any of that.
A bunch of girls forget the words. Then a guy chops up David Cook’s coronation song from last year. How dare you!! He pulls a Brooke White and stops and asks if he can start over. Ryan mentions it at the same time as I type it. Jinx, Ryan! JINX!! You owe me a Coke. And don’t act like you don’t get them for free! I know who sponsors you!
The contestants are all separated into four room. They call Tatiana out to tell her this whole thing was a mistake and she never should have been brought here in the first place…
Simon does not like Nick, but I want to marry Nick. Forget those other two guys I said I wanted to marry. I take it back. I love Nick. He sings ‘Georgia‘. Everybody loves him. Except maybe Simon.
Room 3 is clearly the room getting cut. We still don’t know about Tatiana though. She’s hanging around in the hall waiting to hear her fate… then they throw her into room 4 and everybody in room 4 freaks out because Tatiana’s ass should be going home.
After Simon makes a teenage girl cry, the contestants panic and stress and freak out in their respective rooms.
I wish I could fast forward through sob stories. That’s all I’m going to say about that.
Michael sings an O-Town song and I can’t help but love people who sing O-Town songs. Especially big touch oil rig guys who aren’t supposed to know O-Town songs.
Simon decides he has no interest in breaking the news to the room who’s going home, so he leaves.
Paula walks into room 2 and does her usual bit of pretending to be all shook up. Nathaniel breaks down and cries into the carpet and would somebody please just give that kid a Xanax. Then they are in!
Paula does the same thing in room 3. A room which has morphed Michael Castro’s hair into 13 different colors. They are going home. WHOOO!! Except for Michael Castro. I kind of wanted to see him again. Stoned boys are fun.
There are two groups left. I thought they’d keep both, but they’re acting all suspenseful like they might cut one. I hate when Idol torments me!! Yet… I love it. The judges enter room 1, which holds Danny and Adam, so you know they aren’t going anywhere. And they aren’t.
Everybody in room 4 pukes on themselves as they hear the screams of joy from room 1. Tatiana meditates as the judges act sad and regretful. Then she starts whining and making weird noises and I wish someone would just grab her and shove her inside of a vent and leave her there. The judges tell them they are three and everyone celebrates with everyone.
Tune in tomorrow night for… The Chair. Only it’s not a wooden chair this time. It’s like a Queen’s chair inside of a mansion. And hopefully, if we’re lucky, they shove Tatiana in a vent and leave her there.
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