It is the final showdown, as Ryan tells us. Acoustic rocker versus the glam rocker. Conway versus California. The Guy Next Door versus The Guyliner. And yes, I accidentally typed “gay liner” at first.
Randy is dressed like an idiot, Kara has the smoothly shaved armpits she always has, Paula’s hair looks like she just woke up, and Simon is fancied up.
Carly and her tattoo are in the audience. I want her tattoo and Tattoo Girl’s tattoo to battle it out. That would be awesome. Speaking of. Last week Kelly Clarkson was on Ellen and she said she likes Arm Tattoo Megan. I am disgusted. But then again, she also said she likes Allison so it sort of evens out. But then she couldn't remember Allison's name even though Allison is just a smaller, slightly less awesome version of her.
Kris won the coin toss last week and has decided to go second.
Ryan warns us - the people who are already watching - that if we aren’t going to be watching tonight or tomorow, to set our DVRs longer because they will probably, most definitely go over time. He’s finally figured it out?
Adam was insane as a baby, is what we learn from his video package tonight. He’s singing ‘Mad World’ again. It’s the same as last time, except there is lots of fog and he’s dressed like Nick Carter in the ‘Show Me The Meaning’ video. Only prettier. There is lots of clapping clapping clapping. I love how proud Adam’s dad always is. I think Adam’s dad should adopt every gay boy who’s daddy doesn’t accept him. They’d need a big house, but it’d be a happy family.
Ya know, a wise man once told me that this is the time to be more than a name or a face in the crowd and that this is the time of our lives. I'd still have babies with that man. Whoever he was.
Randy gives his performance and “A for Adam!” Kara loves him and won’t stop about how awesome he is. Paula flirts like she didn’t get the gay memo. Simon though it was too theatrical because he’s dressed all Columbine. Then Randy starts yelling about Twilight. Oh Randy, will you ever find your place in this world?
Kris didn’t like to sing in front of his family as a kid, but then they started paying him to sing, and now here we are at the American Idol finale. Which Ryan thinks is adorable. Oh Ryan. I love ye. I haven’t said it enough this season.
Kris is at the piano singing ‘Ain’t No Sunshine’. I’m so glad this isn’t Danny Gokey singing. How disgusting would that be? This is so much better than the first time he did it. Even though I don’t remember that first time. But I’m imaging this is better.
Randy shouldn’t talk sometimes. Especially when he’s wearing that ridiculous suit.
Kauly Jo: seriously. who dressed randy???
roarimaraptor: his mom
Kauly Jo: is she blind like scott??
Kara freaks out some more. What is wrong with that girl? Seriously. Simon loves Kris and Kris pretends like he might cry.
Back from commercial, Ryan harasses an Asian girl in the audience.
Creator Simon Fuller has chosen ‘A Change Is Gonna Come’ for Adam to sing. He’s wearing a shiny suit. This finale is full of pretty. Seriously, these two are prettier than any two females could have made this finale. I’ve never seen such emotion put into a song on this show.
Randy freaks out about how unbelievable he was. Then Kara freaks out. Then Paula stands up and freaks out and calls him “iconic”.
Matt Giraurd is looking hot in the audience and Scott’s all like, “I can’t even see anything!”
Adam flirts with Ryan and then somebody let Katie Holmes into the building with her clone-baby. The audience tonight is almost more entertaining than the contestants.
About 5 commercials and Paula’s hair is still a hot mess. I thought maybe they’d take a comb to it during a break, but I guess not.
Kris is singing ‘What’s Going On”. He looks and sounds good, but there’s nothing much more to say about it. I can’t even concentrate on anything with this outfit Randy. I mean, I can’t even describe it.
Kara freaks out about the song choice, even though it wasn’t his choice, but the choice of the mysterious Simon Fuller whom we never see. Simon didn’t like it and so Ryan makes a gay joke.
Ryan is in the audience surrounded by the other 11 contestants. Two somebodies we all know and have tried hard to forget makes douche faces and Scott’s all like “I still can’t see anything!”
Adam is singing the coronation song, co-penned by Kara. Why do I love everything Kara writes?
The audience messes itself over the performance. Randy calls it pitchy, which is totally isn’t. Kara is moved to pieces over Adam singing a song she co-wrote and Adam is moved to pieces over Kara writing a song for him to sing. Gag me. Paula’s a fan forever and Simon hates the stupid lyrics of the song, but loves Adam and quite possibly wants to have his babies.
Kris is singing… the same song that Adam sang. It’s not very good. I mean, it’s not bad, but it’s not better than Adam’s. Randy’s ridiculous tie and suit and jacket… and head and voice distract me from what he actually says. Kara thought the song was too high for Kris which means she totally wrote it for the key of Adam. Nice move, Kara. Nice. Paula says nothing of worth.
While Ryan is giving out his numbers, Kris stares at Ryan’s profile like he’s falling in love. Seacrest is mine, bitch! I will fight you!! I don’t care if I outweigh you! I will destroy you! I will shut it down!
Woah, I’m sorry. I haven’t drank enough water today. I always get crazy when that happens.
And woah again. Adam is wearing acid washed jeans… or are they leather? Acid washed leather?
WHOOO! Carrie!! She’s dressed like 80s week during her season!! I love it. She sings over a montage of all the contestants from this season. I wish I could remember any of their names. Omg, I forgot about Von Smith! Omg, I forgot about Bikini Girl! Omg, I forgot about Nick! Omg, I forgot about Nathaniel! Omg, I forgot about Allison!! All these people who’s names I don’t know!! And then there’s Anoop who I’ve tried to forget but can’t because just when I think he’s gone, there he is again. Did you guys hear the rumor that he’s dating Arm Tattoo?
Next up, Glee is on! Tomorrow, David Cooks sings a sad song for charity and Adam Lambert wins!
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