Pictures of Clay Aiken’s 9-month son have surfaced, revealing that he looks like a Benjiman Button/alien version of Clay. Meaning he either looks like Clay if Clay had a baby with an alien or he looks just like Clay, but not like Clay as a baby, but rather as Clay now. At 30. He’s a 30 year old baby!! That is kind of exciting. But what’s more exciting?
American Idol!
Remember when Adam was in the bottom three? And we saw Danny being undouchey for the first time? Yeah. I remember. But we see it again. Because THIS is American Idol and with only 4 people left, we have plenty of time to fill. Ryan tells us that we are “very live” tonight, as opposed to other nights when we are just sort of, kind of live.
Ryan tells us that the giant Independence Day stage almost collapsed before the show and so the Idols didn’t have a chance to run through a dress rehearsal. Also, they will be doing duets tonight. Oooh, I hope Allison sings with Adam!
So Slash from Guns ‘n Roses is the mentor this week. Awesome, is all I have to say about that. I mean, Jamie Foxx? What the hell was that? But Slash? Awesome. At least he’s relevant even if I’m not quite sure that he even has a face. Or at least a face that people want to be looking at.
Adam is first singing ‘Whole Lot Of Love‘, which causes Slash to promptly fall in love with him. God, I love Adam. Adam is like the gay David Cook. I couldn’t be happier if he won this season. Unless, him and David toured together, in which case, my head might explode from awesomeness.
So anyways, Adam is dressed like you would assume Adam as a rocker would be dressed like. His hair is super fantastic and he’s wearing jeans which always makes me happy except in extreme cases like when the jeans on certain other people who have been in this top 12/13. He’s wearing a necklace with little handcuffs on it.
Kara is wearing a ring that looks like one of those ring pops after the pop part of it is gone. She gets a case of the Paula’s and starts yelling randomness , Paula calls him “a whole lot of perfect”, and Simon says that he was great but has ruined the night for everybody else because no way anybody will ever be able to top it. We should just call this the finale. Except I don’t want this show to end. Ever. Even though I hated most everybody this season, I get sad when they leave.
Allison and Ryan are totally nervous that the stage might start falling on top of them. Allison’s hair is looking awesome tonight and its because Adam hooked her up with his long-time stylist. Allison’s songs were a toss-up between ‘Somebody To Love’ and the song I’ve been waiting forever to hear somebody sing on this show, ‘Cry Baby’. She chooses the latter. OMG, you guys, seriously. I love this song like woah. If I could sing and went on a talent show, this would be my song. This and ‘Goodbye To You’ by Scandal. It is so awesome. She’s wearing leather pants and hooker boots… but it’s still awesome.
Randy doesn’t think so, but whatever. He’s wearing some beads on a necklace, so who is he to talk? They tell her she should have sang “Piece of My Heart’ but Underwood already did that, so… no. She shouldn’t have. Paula seems neutral on the performance and Simon liked it better than the rest of the judges, but he didn’t think it was too original.
Pff, what do the judges know? Who do they think they are?
First duet: Kris and Danny doing ‘Renegade’ by Styx. I love Styx. Because I’m old. The duet starts a cappella and then the jig is up ,the news it out, and the band comes in. It’s awesome I suppose. At least one of half of it is. The judges enjoyed it.
Kris looks stunning no matter what he wears. He could wear a muumuu. Slash invites Kris to play guitar during his rehearsal and the Slash plays a long, which causes Kris to nearly wet himself. He’s singing ‘Come Together’, a song that has always thoroughly bored me. He doesn’t sound bad but it’s just kind of like… bleh. For me. Not to sound like Randy, but it wasn’t that good for me. Randy liked the guitar playing better than the singing. Kara calls him “the softer side of rock”, but she didn’t like his performance. Paula says something about artistic delivery while Simon does something goofy off camera. Simon compares the performance to eating ice for lunch. British people are weird. But it was kind of boring.
Danny is doing ‘Dream On’. Thank God, I already hate this song. Every week, I worry that Danny will sully a song I love. The way Scott Savol used to do. But we don’t see him around anymore, do we? No, we don’t. Cause I took care of that.
Half of the performance is just him repeating the phrase “dream on” over and over again and then screaming like a murder victim in a horror movie. He’s wearing a handcuff necklace like Adam’s, only his is big and
Randy calls it “alright”. He calls it a valiant effort which is the same thing I’d say to my toddler nephew when he tries to give me a high five and misses. Kara didn’t like it either, but she likes his growth. What? I don’t know. She commends him for attempting a high five and missing. Paula makes the audience scream about how awesome Danny is. Then Simon makes the horror movie reference like I did, which sort of makes us soul mates, which brings me even closer to marrying David Cook.
Duet two: Allison and Adam doing ‘Slow Ride’. They’re both dressed like trashy rock people. Awesome!! I hope the finale is between these two! Also, I think they’re almost wearing matching boots. The judges love it and Simon says that Adam probably just gave Allison a chance to stay in this competition.
Who goes home tomorrow? Based on tonight’s performances, Gokey should. But it’ll either be Allison or Kris. Just because that’s the natural order of things.
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