For some reason, that desk the judges sit behind during auditions is in the “Smithsonian”, so the cast of that new Night At The Museum movie are talking about. Ben Stiller and that one funny guy from SNL who’s name I can never remember lies that Paula inspires people from behind said desk.
The Ford commercial this week - or “music video”, as Seacrest calls it - starts out as a cartoon. Then they turn real. But the background is still cartoon. But then it’s real and there’s a storm. And then nothings gonna break their stride, ain’t nothing gonna hold them down, as they turn back into cartoons, then back into people again, and drive off.
Alicia Keys is wear a bath towel as a dress, on this here Idol stage, for reasons I don’t know. Something about kids with HIV in Africa. One of these kids from Africa - and he actually looks like Tracey Junior on 30 Rock - is here singing/rapping/chanting some song. I don’t know why. He’s a kid, so I won’t mock him. But I don’t know why this is going on. I mean, filler, I know, but of all the filler things that could have been? We get this? But it’s funny, cause he’s like 10 but almost as tall as Ryan. And then Ryan dances, and that is always good times.
There’s a cougar in the audience who apparently loves Danny. She loves him so much, she has a sign. Hmmm. As soon as they show the sign, a tornado watch shows up on my screen. Oh Danny. Even the weather wants you destroyed.
Blah blah, yawn yawn, Danny in his hometown signing autographs, radio interviews. A poor, misguided young sap chases his limo down the street and he cries during a parade. Then the mayor makes him like King of the city or something. I wish I cared.
Kris is like the hottest thing ever . I mean, barring David Cook, of course. It must be so weird to be from Arkansas. I wonder if Paula pronounced it “Are Kansas”. Kids in his town scream over the sounds of ‘Everybody Wants To Rule The World’. GASP! Does this mean he’ll win? Kris’s dad talks like a woman. Then Kris goes and sings at his old college. If I went on this show, I’d never go and sing at my old school. Those bastards. What did they ever do for me but make me one time spend my lunch break in a bathroom stall.
I think Kris made mayor too. I don’t know. His dad cries and talks like a woman some more. Kris is hot through-out all of this, by the way.
Jordin Sparks!! She’s come down the stairs, which are covered in smoke. What if everyone thought this was an effect but really the stage was on fire? That’d be fun. Why does Jordin look like she’s 30? I don’t know either. She’s doing some spazzy thing, but this song is awesome. I mean, I don’t know what she’s saying, but it sounds awesome.
TCreature3: this song doesn't have lyrics does it?
TCreature3: i think she is writing as it as she goes
Dude, I don’t know when I turned 12 again, but I can’t wait for ‘Glee’.
Adam is hot. I take back what I said about Kris being the hottest thing ever, besides David Cook. Ew Anoop. He ruined the hotness fantasy. Whooo Allison!! I like when old eliminated contestants come back.
Adam’s hometown of San Diego. His limo is huge, guys. You could fit all 13 Idols and the judges and Ryan in that thing. Adam plays around in front of a green scream with some weird lady who then makes him put her eyeliner on her. What a weirdo… do you guys think Adam would put eyeliner on me?
A middle-aged man asks Adam to sign his shirt. A little boy tries to high five Adam and then asks him how he got to be so awesome. All the children have a good laugh over Adam’s crazy hair. Then a girl scares him with her boobs. Man, Adam gets so many songs playing over his package. ‘Come Home’ and some bad cover of ‘Baby O’Riley’.
Heh. I said package.
Why is everybody but Scott in the audience? Because he can’t see, they don’t even give him tickets?
Katy Perry is here and the only song I care of hers is ‘Use Your Love’ and she‘s not singing that so I don‘t even care. The only person I care about waking up in Vegas is Carrie Underwood that time she shacked up with some guy without knowing his last name.
Danny wants us to skip this and announce the results, and even though I agree, shut up. Then Adam yells “I wanna see Katy Perry!” I don’t, but I love you, Adam. And on second thought, I kind of like this song. The verses are uneventful like most Katy Perry songs are, but the chorus is awesome. Her cape says “Adam Lambert” on the back, which is awesome, but I’m disconcerted by the fact that she’s not wearing pants. And the boobs that are all over the place.
DIM THE LIGHTS!!
Kris is in the finale!! KRIS IS IN THE FINALE!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
88 million votes…
… ADAM!!!!!!
Here we go again. The wife thing. Danny loves watching himself on video. Adam cries while Danny sings, marginally better than last night, I must say. The singing, not the crying. It’s actually pretty. Why hasn’t he been this good before?
Blozor636: At least Gokey had the chance to smear cake all over Allison's body before he got voted off. How many people can say that?
Simon talks about a “big ding dong” and Ryan rushes us off the air, cause that’s just weird.
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